Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize