I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
