Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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