I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
