Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
