your thong is hanging out like whoa
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
