I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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