i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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