Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
