i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
