It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
