she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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