I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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