My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
