Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
