why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
