Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
