First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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