Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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