you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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