dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
