Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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