I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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