dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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