Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
