so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
