do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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