Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
