Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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