What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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