My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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