Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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