Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
