ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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