I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
