the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize