I never want to see another naked old woman again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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