Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
