All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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