She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
