He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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