Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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