At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
