i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
