i think my mom watched the whole time
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
