It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
