I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
