Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
