let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
