Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
