I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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