i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize