so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
