omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
