i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
