when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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