why didn't you poke me back
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
