She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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