And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
