mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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