ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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