How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize