I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
