Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize