No subtext here. People are naked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
