the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
