i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
