I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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