sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
