This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
