Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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